The only colour my son can identify correctly is pink. And no, I didnā€™t plan it šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

Atomic Habits

Yeah, I succumbed. But I am over Facebook and Instagram definitely. I deleted them again yesterday because I was hardly spending time on them.

Twitter I finally deleted the app and started reading it on the browser because I think I need the daily fix of the angry. I was reading it on the way to any place (remember not to touch my mobile phone šŸ˜†). Dopamine fix and all.

Now I have replaced it with reading this book. (You still have to remember the same thing though). The good thing about this is a) I’m reading something motivational b) I am reducing going on binge.

The TV in the evening habit I still have to break though.

Also I am looking at my calendar more times during the day, so that’s a good thing. I don’t like how it defaults any task to 1 hour though. I wish the alerts were connected to the reminders though.

Atomic Habits

I’m happy. I finally started making entries/planning my daily calendar on the phone.

I had been thinking of a way to do it but this new book that I am reading, Atomic Habits, says that what I was thinking is correct. it’s Amazon #7 best seller. The only problem with the book is that it’s too long. Normally I like it in a book but this one takes too long to reach a minor point and then keeps repeating it.

The thing about this calendar is that I have not made any time for art. That’s a first. šŸ˜±

I’m on Page 15 of The Catcher in the Rye and im asking if Holden Caufield is me? šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

This book is a hundred times more readable than Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye. Ewww.

I think I’m at an age where I don’t want to waste time reading sad stuff. Eww.

Reading List – suggestions?

So here’s the list of books I have to read for MA this year:

  1. Ā Death of a Salesman
  2. The Hairy Ape
  3. The Scarlett Letter
  4. The Great Gatsby
  5. House Made of Dawn
  6. The Bluest Eye
  7. Huckleberry Finn
  8. The Floating Opera
  9. Black Spring
  10. Catcher in the Rye
  11. The Color Purple
  12. Sister Carrie
  13. The Last of the Mohicans
  14. Ā The Light in August


What should I read next?

The Great GatsbyĀ  I read during the Winter break. Have about 80 pages remainingĀ inĀ House Made of Dawn, a really painful read. Normally 80 pages would be a couple of hours but I struggle. The plan was to read them by number of pages from shortest to longest. IĀ have readĀ The Scarlet Letter, Huckleberry FinnĀ andĀ TheĀ Color PurpleĀ in the past (and at a faster pace, I promise you) so I want to read these last.

I’ll be dealing with the plays first I think. Shorten the list. But still open to suggestions for the rest. I don’t know why they choose the saddest books in syllabi.

What does one write about everyday? I may have similar posts before. I feel I have a limited number of words and sentences that I use. For example, I would’ve normally begun the previous sentence with “The thing is”. Ā I am trying to break that habit. I am also trying to learn using the Mac keyboard. Where’s the end key for god’s sake? (I’m loving the auto correct feature btw.)

I am not even trying to draw up a list of things I want to do or learn about art. I have been boring everyone with these lists endlessly. But yes, I’m going to do it again. lol. I have been using up to 7 or 8 hours drawing Ā oneĀ piece of digital art for my gay art account. That no one is even going to see. That much time. For art I don’t want to be associated with. It’s porn fetish basically. Art where I get a sort of a release. I don’t even want it to be my main thing. Like that’s not the thing I want to be remembered for. I mean it was okay for Tom of Finland, but I don’t have any fantasies of being known for that. I want to be able to illustrate like N. C. Wyeth. That’s it. So does oneĀ beginĀ  with copying him? More than half my life is over, so when if not now? That’s the thing I like about writing out thoughts. I work out things on a keyboard. Maybe my life’s been a mess since I replaced the laptop with the mobile phone.

I had deleted Facebook this morning. The I reinstalled it to upload a picture of the kid. Writing “my son” feels so odd. Super odd like. So I am going off social media again. Slowly. Facebook will be deleted tonight before going off to sleep. Going totally off internet seems to be a difficult thing to do currently, but slowly and surely. I am also cancelling my Netflix subscription. It eats up too much of my time. Yes, yes, I am still watching some other random series onĀ another web service but baby steps. I am aiming to end upĀ  not watching any television. I have so many books to read. For my MA exams which are in June as well as usually. Ā Son getting a good example will be a bonus, though he is not the reason I am doing this.

Mom called me self entered the other day, before I left for the wedding, and used the lowest method of trying to get me married. She was talking to the kid and telling him his mom has gone and some such thing. On character, I created a hullabaloo. She was not speaking to me when I left. Which was on character for her. (In the previous blog, this would’ve been a hilarious entertaining post. I am old and dry now and don’t have time to dwell on mundane craziness-life gets you?)

What are the ground rules for mobile phones with kids? Do they get access to our emails, Ā Facebook etc? He’s two and he knows the first digit to Dad’s phone password is 1. I think he’ll figure out the remaining three figures in a couple of months. For now he does not know how to unlock my phone. When do I come out to him when I am out in family on a need to know basis? I was looking at the “Gay Life” category of this blog and I guess there must be whatĀ fiveĀ  posts under it? But come out I will have to. The other thing I am really concerned about when he asks where his mom is. I have read a few internet articles but I guess I will be speechless when he finally asks me. Coming back to the emails and laptop access. There is history, chats, personal stuff etc. What do people do about that? This should’ve been a separate blog post because I really want to know answers to this. Being gay has meant living a double life for the past twenty years. Does one lie to one’s child too? I hope to raise him to be open to different ideas. He is intelligent and I hope to let him learn as much as he can. I guess it will be okay finally but thoughts?