I decided yesterday that I need to learn how to dance. So I have been dancing 1st steps of hip hop to YouTube video for past 20 minutes and boy I’m out of breath. I know I must look stupid doing that but it sort of elated me a bit 🙂
1,2 n 5 min poses. Need to make more solid/sure lines.
In spite of the heartache he leaves me with, I added Alan Hollingurst’s next in my Amazon wish list.
Sidenote: I keep buying gay themed novels. It seems to be a reaction towards fear of losing my sexuality-the lack of sex…I need to write about the make out session with the Kid.
I’m taking a hiatus from social media. It means I’ll not be communicating through it. I’m putting all my focus inwards. I don’t want to peddle my work or thoughts for a few likes or comments. If I do get likes I want in hundreds. So I’m posting my art work here. I don’t care for comments. I’ll try to ignore bouquets and brickbats.
But this post is not about art. This is the lowest I’m feeling and I don’t intend to feel that way in future. While I was driving back to school it seemed like a dramatic movie scene- the city immersed in light and fireworks while I was driving back. It was almost beautiful. I spent most of the day sleeping at home. That building gives me most negative vibes. I couldn’t wait to escape. Mom tried to talk all normal but I asked her to drop the act. When I’m around her I rage. What’s dead can’t be resurrected.
Zen is what I have to do.
I need a sexy Daddy like Alec Baldwin.
Everyone is getting younger (or maybe I’m getting older 😆).
Started another book. It was supposed to be set in Palm Springs. Where do you think we are instead? Yes. Chicago. 😐
I need to fall in love with a software developer who would make customisable spread sheets for me 😻
The most bull headed of signs is Libran.
Mechtron called yesterday. He sounded desponden. His closest friend is in coma and the doctors want to pull the plug. He wanted to know if such a thing happened to people. I could not say anyone more than hmmm and that’s too bad. He was obviously looking for comfort and I had none in me. That’s who I have become.