Hate my laptop right now. It keeps on hangin’.



So yesterday one of helpers(I’m translating the literal word used in the language here) at the school (who basically helps with the toddlers and is the de facto boss of the cleaning ladies at the school) suffered from a stroke. One of the girls from the kindergarten came to me that something is happening to Dolly. When I rushed out of the office two other attendants were bring her out. Her body was semi paralysed and the face looked skewed. Her speech was slurry.

I called out at the receptionist to call ahead the doctor’s clinic. The doctor said that it sounds like a stroke and we should straight away rush to the hospital. So I drove like mad. The receptionist knew the way to the hospital so I asked her to come along. Mom also sent the librarian (who’s also a cousin 😂-nepotism anyone?)with me. The lady was unconscious by the time we reached the hospital. After the basic stuff the doctors said that we need to take her for CT Scan to the city as they didn’t the machine. So I arranged for an ambulance from the hospital itself. The receptionist went in the ambulance and I sent back the librarian-he had his car key-I would called him if any other help was required. The receptionist is resourceful and sort of my right hand, so I wanted her.

At the Scanning centre(?) we decided to take her to the city hospital itself. The emergency doctor after looking at the scan confirmed that one of her brain vessels had ruptured and sent me to the neurologist-surgeon. He said there was a minor bleeding and it should resolve itself in 4 to 5 weeks. The patient would be under observation for 48 hours and need another CT Scan in 72 hrs. By this time the receptionist had located the lady’s husband (he works a gardener amongst other things) and called him there. His neighbour had also reached separately (her son goes to our school). Now this poor guy is -what’s the politically correct term for it?- a bit simple. In any case I explained the situation as best as I could and after we had shifted her to the ward, handed over the command to the neighbour so that I could bring the receptionist back to the school. I asked the guy if he had some money, he had he said, I didn’t believe him but since I had paid for everything already and confirmed from the doctor that nothing else was needed we returned.

In the evening there was another scare that the patient was shifted to ICU and might need to be operated upon in the morning. So mom n dad went to see her. Only the doctor on night duty was there and he said the surgeon will come at 6 in the morning and then it will be decided. So we will go today again and find out.

News? I have a room mate now. Yeah the only other unmarried cousin. He was slowly turning schizophrenic. I really don’t know how he is now but he seems to sleep better. But he does sleep less. His is a long story but I hope he’s here for good. Loneliness is not a great thing. Mom gives his example to tell me what’s in store for me. But he’s younger than me and I’m more stable mentally ( I hope). Anyways the chap is now working at the school.

In other news I’m not looking for anyone anymore and life has thus become simpler. There being no expectations everything is better. Moreover not trying to date anyone for the first time in years is so peaceful. It’s as if I don’t know any conniving bastards. Call me homophobic. Gay men are scarred. It’s refreshing to only meet people who are balanced. I don’t know how to explain this. But there is no struggle. No hiding. No lying.

I’m thinking of raising money for the ‘educational trip to Italy’ through selling paintings and commissions. Dunno how though. 🤔

Call me by your name

The movie was different from the book. Oliver comes across as a bit too keen on sex. More than Elio. Elio seemed too straight. A straight guy from twitter who saw the movie thought that maybe Elio marries the girl after the movie. But then you can’t have the continuous voice in the head in the movie. I loved the last scene-Timothée Chalamet looking into the fire, crying, camera on his face-loved it. I don’t know why some people read into Elio’s dad’s speech as his confession of homosexual feelings. It’s a good movie. Left me a little depressed but nothing, nothing like the book. The best thing about the book is that it’s a simple love story. It doesn’t feel like it’s a ‘gay story’. It’s just two people who are attracted to each other.

The kid has grown up

He told me of his adventure

After injecting MD (whatever that may be)

“They were clean needles”, he said

You’re judging me he said.

“No” I replied.

It’s the truth. I never judge him.

I did ask him to be safe though, I can’t help it.

He said he had a massive erection for two hours, he had sex with that guy.

Everything was rosy after that, for a while.

He was horny for 48 hours.

But he couldn’t get it up.

“I never saw it become so small.

I touched myself continuously, but nothing happened. I’ll never do it again.”

Am I becoming a paedophile? I have acquired Carvaggio’s taste.

Saw a School boy in the morning, probably 12th grade. He was built like a jock but the face was like a boy.

This is all the fault of reading bara comics.

No I don’t have any sexual thoughts or intentions (with them or anyone at all). But my heart misses a beat and I’d like to draw them.

What the F will happen once we get upgraded to 12th grade?

When I dream of an Amah-zing sketch in my sleep, who’s actually drawing it? Me or the person in my sleep? 🤔

So we had an inspection in the school yesterday. But in my dream the inspector fellow took up an impromptu class. While teaching chemistry he started drawing-really amazing chalk sketches. Great shading too, which I never knew possible in chalk. I have draw with chalk on blackboards, I’m nowhere near the perfection of the dream guy. I even studied the chap very carefully. I mean once the class was dismissed I went near the blackboard and started noticing how his hand had moved, the shading, the lines….so who drew the drawing?

PS: The girl mom wanted me to marry, that Teacher was sitting right next to me. I actually have started liking her. Wish I wasn’t gay 😂 Can’t I not-have-sex with her just like I’m not-having-sex with men?

This art thing is becoming an obsession. Not that I’m becoming anything remotely great, only steady progress. But I keep thinking about art all the time. Too much of anything is bad they say. I wonder if it applies here as well.

Art Appreciation (updated till finished and then deleted 😁)

(We will speak only if visual art. Since I am no expert I will use ‘maybe’ and ‘perhaps’ frequently. I will ask the questions which maybe will help us appreciate art better).

Before we start let’s get ourselves familiarised with each other. So please give a brief introduction about yourself and let me know the following:
Your name

city you come from,

What do you think is ‘Art Appreciation’?

How do you think, is this lecture going to help you in your career as a designer?

do you think you are an artist

(Okay these seem the wrong kind of questions to ask and i’ll change them in eventually but I do want yes or no type of questions initially-don’t want to embarrass anyone, want everyone to participate).

Before we do any of that we need to understand ‘What is Art?

Look at the following pictures and write which ones do you think are Art and which are not?

So we generally call works ‘Art’ based on,

  • Skill & Technique
  • Expresssion & Content
  • Originality of Form (Physical Appearance)
  • Originality of Content (or concept)
  • Materials (Marble, Oil Paints)
  • Mass Production
  • Intent of Artist
  • Authority of Art World – galleries, auctions, critiques, museums
  • Utilitarian Function – contemplation, decorative arts also functional, advertising, CD Covers, functional objects may not be beautiful to look at but still art.
  • Definition of art changes time to time.

Art has never been as accessible as it is today.

The first question that comes to our minds is “I am a designer, why do I need to learn ‘art appreciation’?”

What is the difference between a designer and an artist? Will it perhaps sell to my customer more easily if it is aesthetically pleasing? If I make something which is useful or ‘solves a problem’ also aesthetically pleasing, am I an artist? We go to museums (because every educated person does and the ubercool are supposed to). So we see this painting and pretend to like it. In reality we are standing in awkward silence and thinking: Really? This is art? I could make that. What am I seeing? What am I supposed to see? Why the f**k is it so expensive?

(movie clip).

So what is art? Why do we humans seem to like art so much?

Do we ‘like’ art because it’s pretty? Makes us happy. Because we like things to be ‘beautiful” “positive” “happy” “serene”(Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir, landscapes, murals).

But then there are paintings which make us so sad (The break up, Degas, prostitutes sleeping, Callibotte letter from war,) or are grotesque (vegetable paintings, da Vinci’s ugly ones, Picasso self portrait).

We hear people use phrases like: you can’t see art you have to feel art. We are ‘moved’ by a painting, We are ‘drawn to it’. Perhaps art ‘completes’ us. It counterbalances what’s missing in us, perhaps because it contains doses of what we are missing in our lives. It could be the magical world that we wish was ours-it’s tender and serene while in reality we are not. Or maybe it’s the drama and action which we is missing in our lives (but we would rather see it on canvas and not so much in real life).

So when we speak of compensation perhaps the art of a times perhaps tries to compensate what’s lacking in a society.Sometimes the whole society falls in love with an art style. Like the the Renaissance in 15thc Italy during all that political strife or the Pre-Raphaelites in Britain in the 19th century-beauty to counter the effect of brutal industrialisation. Art of a country gives us clues to what the country is maybe ‘missing’ in them.

Art glamourises what might be mundane- Dürer’s grass, Van Gogh’s oranges, Marcel Duchamp’s toilet installations (artist’s shit), constable’s skies. Brings things we ignore on the red carpet. (Show these on red carpet with celebs).

Art says 1. Have hope (prettiness) 2. It’s okay to be sad 3. It’s okay to live vicariously through art 4. Oranges are important too.

Don’t let yourself be led by what the ‘experts’ have to say about art. Find your own meaning. You don’t have to ‘like’ art because it’s cool to do so (modern art) or because everyone likes it (Monalisa) so you are supposed to too. But like listening to music it’s personal. There are no rules. So don’t let anyone tell you what is the right kind of art that you are supposed to like.

However we will try to answer our original question ‘what am I seeing here’ by finding out what others maybe seeing. This will help you decide whether you like what you are seeing or not.

Who thinks they’re an artist?

Why do we make art? Why should there be art at all? Why should it be of any economic value?

Kids explaining art.

First there was the line.



Making sense of ‘ Modern’ Art.

Which are your favourite paintings out of these?


Kantian definition of art: the work of art has no other utilitarian purpose–is not useful for any practical function.


some architects will focus largely on utilitarian design while others will see buildings almost as vary large sculptures with some practical constraints.They need to understand space and ion particular how people will react emotionally to their designs and equally need a good sense to materials, line, form and proportion form an aesthetic perspective.

So really there is a continuum from pure technical design through product design to art.

The 4th dimension. Aka time. Generally art is considered a stationary piece. You can view it in 2 or 3D, but you generally can’t travel through it without it becoming a structure in and of itself. Architecture, unlike art, is designing an inhabitable piece of beauty and thus adding the 4th dimension, where traveling through it as time passes by makes architecture one dimension more intricate than art.

Consider it as Art is a “Superset” to the set Architecture.

I went on a ‘movie date’ thingy with a guy yesterday. (Yes I still do that cause I actually don’t want anything more than movie companion😝)

OMG the communists have infiltrated Grindr 🤣😂