A Night Alone

I saw him off at the airport around 3 pm. It would be six months before we saw each other again. Of the little time left together, we watched each minute  indifferently saunter away.  20 minutes to parting. 19 minutes parting. 18 minutes. 17….Goodbyes are horrible. The one leaving becomes testy. One can’t give in fully to the anxiety of imminent separation  because of the reality of departure formalities. I wished I hadn’t pre-decided the time for taxi to pick me up, I could have squeezed a few minutes more. I saw him take up the escalator and appear on the other side of the glass wall to join the immigration queues. Eyes already welling up, I waved him a final goodbye, turned and ran for the exit,  the taxi would already be waiting for me. I wanted to turn around for one last look. I wanted him to come back. I wanted him not to leave.
An hour later, back in the hotel, I thought I should sleep. But I chatted with him till his flight took off. Then I called up Mom and talked for an hour. It was too late to sleep. I also had some packing to do. I decided against going for a swim. The shorts won’t dry. I collected the sauna pass and went down to the bar for some tea. I decided that if I was to have sex with a stranger this was the time. I responded with a ‘hi’ to all the guys who had shown interest in the past few days on Grindr and PR. One guy alone showed any interest. He was what is called ‘discrete’. At 7 I decided to go to the Sauna to distract me and lift up the mood. I was bored within a few minutes. I didn’t allow anyone to touch me in the stream room or the jacuzzi. Sunday was supposed to be the day of action but I was not finding anyone attractive. I let myself sweat properly and then lay in the jacuzzi to relax. I left in half an hour. I had a quick dinner at the nearby Thai restaurant and returned to the room by 9. The discrete guy was ready to come. I asked him to get some condoms and lube. He arrived around 10 by that time I was really


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