Miss being in love

Dear Reader,

Ever since i started reading this romance I’ve been reminded of that feeling of flutters in the stomach, the  rush of dating and the can’t help being excited feeling of initial stages of before saying “I Love You”. I said i love you a bit too soon in my first relationship. It’s been 8 years and I’m still in the same one. I do still love him but i wouldn’t mind experiencing that feeling again. Different cities had created a distance between us but this is a bit too much. These are two absolutely different countries. Although there’s only one more country between ours but or own would accommodate half a dozen standard size European countries. He wrote that he went on dinner with some Malaysian Indian guy whom he met online. I’m not going to scratch out too much from this piece of information. He confirmed that he met him through Grindr and that was all that i wanted to know. I know that he has more ‘needs’ than i do. My sexual drive gets curbed by my hang ups. So it’s me to be blamed and I’ll not stop him from having his bit of fun. As you already know our sexual chemistry isn’t exactly fireworks. But even if we have sex in future I’ll be wary and treat him as any random hook up, protection wise i mean. I am not going to ask him to be loyal to me for the 2 weeks of togetherness per year that we might have. The question is that will i too seek sex elsewhere and then we don’t talk about it? Should we break up? I mean what  is holding us together now?

Love
JAP

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