Dear R,

When your mind again and again runs towards exiting the relationship at the slightest pretext what does it mean? Fear of commitment ? The relationship has run its lifetime? Fear of being hurt? Did i mention that he has written he’ll try to move to Australia from there? Annual tickets to  Australia for spending a fortnight , I’m sorry, even i don’t want to afford. So where does that leave us? I’m not talking about looking out for a new relationship. After all that I’ve invested in this one I’m all drained out and don’t have that strength. What I’m talking about is not putting our lives on hold waiting for the ‘ideal’ moment. Adopting a child is one of those things. But if look deep inside me yes it’s true that I see a child as a future egg. I am actually fascinated by the idea of having a child. I’m not really sure if I’m actually qualified to be responsible for another life. But i can adopted many children instead of one. An  orphanage kind of thing may be? …i really don’t know what to do with my life and  I’m 35. Is this called mid-life crisis?
Do you have anything to comment on this ?


PS: I’m not tagging any post as ‘gay life’ or gay anything from now on. It’s my life and I’m not putting it in any box. I’m going to be open all kind of people in my life.

Song in background  : Wasted Love by  Steve Angello


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