U Look Funny Man !

Sometimes I look at the mirror and think how bloody funny I look. Hobbit sized with pudgy little hands which ironically are not fat (or muscular).  All that chest, with hardly any legs. For the past decade the waist has been on a quest to go one size up each year. It seems to be meeting all its new year resolutions whereas I fail. On top of my globular head there is a battle raging.  The forehead is winning. It is making rapid advances into territories being quickly abandoned by the retreating hair. I have a beak for a nose. Scared for life, glasses perch precariously somewhere on the nose for there’s a no nose bridge. Every few minutes they slide downwards till the aforesaid pudgy hand pushes them back.  Little eyes are the size of pistachios. Mouth is wrong in size and colour for the face size shape and colour. Lower lip hangs out when I’m too busy concentrating.  I could lose a couple of chins. I should also lose the round cheeks too which might help accentuate the dimple on my right cheek. On the other hand it will also bring out the Cruela de Viliers nose.
I’m a lost case.
Time for hair transplant. A plantation has recently appeared on my back.

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