Wish Away

I look at the watch and it’s not yet 5. I remember having a stressful dream. I look at Twitter then Tumblr and finally land at the Body.com app. I start browsing articles. There are many about Hep C. I want to ask Him to be careful about it. Maybe get shots if they’re available. But it’s too early in the morning. I don’t like to wake Him up reminding him that He has the damned virus inside. Another article talks about various stages of HIV and how any CD4 below 200 is wrongfully labelled as AIDS even if the viral load is undetectable. It then goes on to describe various stages and CD4 counts and I can’t remember His count. I feel guilty. It’s a bit too early in the morning for me to concentrate. I pause for a moment…what am I reading! A month back I wouldn’t have known what CD4 means. I don’t want to read all this. Can someone take it all away.


I need to go for pre-joining medicals today, so I decided to go for a screening test to confirm that I’m still negative. I don’t want any surprises in the company sponsored meds. I’m not exactly sure how sensitive the hospital I go to will be if I turn out positive. Will they inform the office first or me?

The moment you tell the receptionist at the path lab that you’re here for HIV Test is so telling. Her eyes enlarge in surprise and she scowls in mild disgust. She hands you over a pile of forms to sign, declarations that you have been imparted knowledge about HIV and AIDS. She doesn’t actually inform you anything. Who would talk to someone so utterly revolting. The lab tech also wears the gloves immediately. He keeps talks to a minimum as of it will reduce the risk of you contaminating him. All this when they don’t know if you do have it. Imagine how they will react if they know that you do.

PS: I tested negative.


I’ll be leaving in a fortnight. Should start finishing off work now.

I’ve been staring at my phone for past 5 hours though.

PS: The letter from the Canadian immigration agency sounds encouraging. Wondering if I should apply for Australia too. His dog will be a problem though.
His group therapy is going well I think. Some of the group members even came to his house. They stayed till his midnight.