The whys of how my mind works

I mean I would have bought the exact same couch (yes we’re still on the couch) eventually, but not right now when I feel all poor ( I may or may not actually be).

So that is being a Virgo. That (un)friendly neighbor hood irritating guy. That’s me worrying. And that up there used to be the tag line of my original blog. The happy, funny, everyone-be-jealous-we-are-a-couple guy. Part of the reason I wrote the blog was to make Him understand me better. No wonder I felt the need to do that because till about four years into the relationship he did not believe that I was saying the truth whenever I said I loved him. The thing is that I always say the truth (okay mostly cause I hate awkward situations). So I might be uncommunicative sometimes. But I made up for it in the blog.

He thought I was washing dirty linen in public. Well, trying to meet other bloggers was His idea, not mine. And obviously he eventually ended up being closer friends to them in real life than me. I stopped writing that blog and made it private after our first (short lived) break up because he loved reading the old posts just to remind himself that we were so happy (I have never read a single past post).

…I made the blog public again last sunday.

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I shagged thinking of him.

(That’s progress. No porn.)

He sends me a hot Argentinians page on Instagram. I browse through, always the voyeur. I send him back a photograph.

Me: Nice low hangers. šŸ˜…

Him: Yeah

Sexy

I imagine yours to be like this

A flutter in my chest. Now we’re flirting? After 4 years of knowing each other and 2 movie n dinner dates, where I so wanted to kiss him and he seemed not interested.

Me: Lol

What about urs?

Him: Mine are small marbles

And the pipe tilts to the left šŸŒ

Yeah, I imagined as much too. See? There it is. Of the five people who would have me, none does such things to my heart. And I like him because he’s a totally nice guy. He sings in the choir. He is a doting guncle. He is two years older than me but looks like 10 years younger šŸ˜… ( or so I thought for a long time). He’s got a head full of hair, which for me is a huge thing. He’s not going to win any beauty contests but I’d have him over any soulless hunk any day. Any day. I wish we didn’t live 4000 kms apart.

Me: Nice n tight šŸ˜

Why do we live so far?

Iā€™m a fucking fool

Ok. So I went to the shop and ordered the most expensive couch there. I cry that I’m poor on the one hand and then go and do that. I could’ve purchased furniture for the full house in that much money. But I blame Dad for saying that I should buy when I feel like I want it. (I had told him I’ll buy the cheap one now and the expensive one in a few years-maybe when I’m 60-I won’t feel guilty then. šŸ˜¬)

Yay! Finally painted the first landscape in the serious focus on landscapes (cause it sells) series. And it came out almost exactly like I wanted. Of course there were some mistakes made but there was a lot of learning too.

I hate drawing in detail and carefully. So since I’m dedicating the whole day to drawing today I’m surprised at how good I have become šŸ˜¹ (yeah no false modesty here). Since I’m comparing myself to only me I can say that yes practice makes perfect. It doesn’t matter if ur actually drawing the same thing again and again. As long as you are actually drawing anything but drawing consistently, your brain finally knows how to control your hand and draw what you intend to. I have about 50 really bad quality chart papers to fill (I had purchased during my teachers training I think) before u finally buy some good paper. These are so smooth and glossy that they almost don’t catch n hold the graphite. But still I am going to finish them. I don’t like them just sitting there for so long.

(If I’m writing so much when I’m only passably okay, imagine how much I’ll write when I’m finally actually good šŸ˜¹šŸ˜¹šŸ˜¹)