2016

I have a feeling that 2016 will be a great year !

Happy new year to all !

He said I’m undetectable.

I said OK.

He said you’re not happy.

How to express happiness? 

So I’ve written to three Law Schools, two in the UK and one in the US. I had misunderstood the last time that LLM is a four year course. It’s LLB+LLM which is about four years. I might do this. 🙂

Shared from WordPress

Why do UNICEF, WHO, UNAIDS choose to stigmatize rather than protect African youth? – http://wp.me/p1M8Fp-tn

Puerto de Corruption

So i paid the following bribe at Dakar (it’s normal in all the third world minus the harassment):

Customs- 2 cases beer + 15 cartons of cigarettes + $600
Quarantine- 12 cartons of cigarette + $200 + 25 kg Chicken + 6 jars of Nescafé + some other provisions the cook will remember
Immigration -3 cartons of cigarette
Harbour Master- 4 cartons of cigarette

The Quarantine guy, with his two lackeys, was first to arrive. Some of the medicines in the ship’s medical locker, he claimed were narcotics and need to be kept under lock and key with key under my control. Since they were not, I was informed that I am involved in drug trade and spoiling the youth of Senegal. Hence the ship under my command would be fined a penalty of $5000 and I was to be arrested. This a first I thought. For a non -smoker and  a teatotaler to be arrested for drug smuggling was a fine thing. I was also issued a notice to be present in the court the next day. The novelty of the accusation and the frustration at failing to explain that for my Flag these medicines are not ‘drugs’ almost made me well up, but I thought it was the wrong time to cry. It would especially not become of the captain. So I offered 2 cartons of cigarettes and $100. He made a bitter face and asked me to present myself in his office the next day and later in court. On some grovelling and since he was a ‘good friend’ of the ship’s agent, he agreed to let me go with a slight rap of the above amounts paid from my pocket. He, of course, didn’t fail to mention that he never  does ‘this sort of thing’ and is very strict with other captains.
After his departure two guys from the customs arrived. I had been warned by the agent that if they find even a litre of difference between the actual and the declared fuel, paint, lubes and chemicals or any damn thing in any store, they will impose heavy penalties. The way out? Paying out the above amount. So that, at least, was smooth.
Next were 3 blokes from Harbour Master’s office. I immediately paid up the cigarette cartons.
The last on scene was a dude from the Immigration with his Rihanna look alike colleague. After going through all the passports, Seaman’s Books and crew lists she asked to see three crew members- crime ? they all had long hair. The Chief Engineer has a shaggy bunch on his head which he thinks makes him look like a rock star at 60. The Chief Officer is a turbaned Sikh with a bushy beard. And the Bosun has a typical Moslem style beard a la Lincoln. Making a circle round her face with a finger she said mischievously, “You know this, this is what we don’t like in Senegal.” All three accused of having hair, smiled genialy. Seamen are like that, they understand cultural differences and don’t take offence easily. We’re a motley bunch ourselves after all.
Chief Engineer offered, ” So that means I can go. I don’t have a beard. I’m a musician.”
“You can go to the jail with me” she replied.
We all smiled and the standoff continued.
In a while she said, “You the have 10 minutes to pack and come with me. What ? You don’t believe me? Either cut your hair or you won’t leave Dakar.”
“Are you a terrorist?” she asked the chief mate. About 15 minutes had passed in this waste of time and the jokes had stopped being funny.
“Let them go to work,” I told her ” they were picking up stores.”
She dilly dallied for a few minutes more till she finally let them go.
She was the most upfront in asking for bribes. She wanted some chicken too but I refused.

And then today. The Harbour Master appeared. A new chap. He claimed that he had seen one of the crew members sweeping dust overboard. I vehemently denied. “My crew is trained and we don’t throw anything. It’s rather the dirty water of your port which has stained my ship.”
So another standoff. Finally I had to pay $200 to avoid a penalty of $5000. I woke up the superintendent to inform him of the matter.

The bloody frustrating thing is that there is no need of proof when blaming the seaman. Media only shows ships when there are birds and the seals waddling in thick oil spilled accidently by some ship. The plight of the seaman is never shown. It is not at all surprising that most of the seafarers today are happier to be at the high seas instead of the ports. Ports give us the shivers. No. The 1st World ports are no better when it comes to harassment. The US tops the list of the most ‘I’d-rather-not-visit-that-country’ list. It’s not corruption in those countries but it is the jail sentences. They’re are given away like candy on Halloween. Freely. We’re going to the UK at the end of this voyage, I hope I don’t have any harrowing tale to share there.

In other news I forgot all the passwords 

This is a book for the parents of Gay Kids

I realised a few days back that I have already lived almost exactly half my life. About half of that had been lived lying about myself. I didn’t want to live my remaining life being dishonest. Least of all to myself. I decided that it was time to start coming out to people other than my parents. I still stand by my opinion that my sexuality is no one else’s damn business, however, the presumption that since I was single, I must be really sad had really started to irritate me no end now. Moreover, I wanted people to know that I was in a enriching relationship for almost a decade now. Much longer than any of these married types. Our habitation arrangements were not exactly as we would have liked, but then some dreams are worth living for. So in any case I decided to hold life by its balls and squeeze hard.

I have been regularly coming out to my parents for quiet some time now so I decided but we don’t seem to have made any progress. I decided that it’s time I took outside help from my friends- books.

The name of this book does not need any addition to describe what it is about. All the key search words figured in the title. No wonder it was amongst the top books that a search on Amazon.com listed.

Reading the 2nd chapter ‘Initial Reactions’ in the kindle book sample, was what motivated me to purchase this book. It answers all the questions my mother was feeling.

The book is very practically divided in to useful sections so that you can directly jump to one relevant to you. I personally feel that the 2nd chapter should have been the 1st, even before the introduction, but then that’s my opinion.

Particularly interesting is the section about ‘coming out to people’. I would specially like to quote the following lines: “It is not the responsibility of anyone in the LGBTQ community to be vocal about their identity-this is a personal choice and it can vary.” I sometimes feel that in the queer community in India (I can’t speak for other countries) those who are out put considerable peer pressure on those still in the closet. As if those who are not Out are traitors to the ’cause’ of the ‘community’. I think it is very important to point out that even though coming out is an important part of being comfortable with your sexual identity, there is no set timeline which works for everyone.

The book is written for an aware reader Someone, whatever her opinion on homosexuality, at least knows that it exists. She might have even met someone in her life who identified himself as gay. It is definitely not aimed at a society where a news piece on the  elopement and subsequent ‘marriage’ of two women, is  inserted in  the Punjab Kesri for comical relief.

Since both the writers are women, most of the personal stories are from lesbian perspective. Being a gay man, I felt a little left out. But in the end the human emotions are all same. I was near tears reading some of the things which were exactly what was unfolding in my home.
Wish we had such books written in Indian languages. Wish we had

He noticed it first, “Your cousin has a huge crush on you.”
“Really?” I asked genuinely surprised.
The next time I met him I realised He was right. The boy seemed smitten.
I hope I’m not too vain, so I wrote a blog post about it and forgot about the affair.
He pinged me on Grindr yesterday.

He called me 40 or A Disastrous Date

I had chatted to him on Grindr and WhatsApp the last time I was in this town. I’m new at this. I should have stopped right when I let it slip that he is close friends with His close friend. But anyways I met him.
I had a disastrous hair cut while waiting for him. I am almost seriously considering hair transplant. Although I’m quite comfortable with my crew cut.
I call him from outside the Coffee House. He appears shortly wearing a white tee, shorts and flip flops. Not exactly dressing up for a date are we.

Me, Earl and the dying girl

It was the most beautiful, funny and sad movie I have ever seen. 

Watch it.