Anatomy of a break-up

Stage 2 : Anger

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Does anyone else have days when you feel so irritated at just any sound? 

And mom n dad have the TV playing so loud. Sometimes it’s so frustrating living with old people set in their ways! 

He has told the girlfriends about our break up. Reason-it was mutual and we decided to move on with our lives. I texted one of them, I needed advice regarding my huge credit card bill. She gave short replies. I said I’d when she was free. Then I messaged ‘Hi’ in the evening and she never replied. Maybe I’m overthinking. Maybe she is busy. 

I have this huge credit card bill. I had arranged the tickets and hotel for a trip to celebrate Valentine’s Day. The trip never happened because of some ficking Visa issues. And the stupid airlines and hotels won’t cancel. I never realised how much I had spent when I was with him. Small expenses ended up in this huge bill. And now that I’m considering staying on at home and running the school, I don’t have the money to pay it back. I’m considering taking a personal loan to pay this off. The loan instalments I will be able to afford. 

Overall feeling depressed and don’t know whom to talk to. 

This break up was a good thing. Now I will have to push myself to enlarge my social circle.

Fuck I’m whining again. 

Art

Now that we have full staff, I stayed back to study. Bobby came over. There was some stiffness in us-history. He resents that I didn’t declare love for him the last time we met. The ‘sex’ wasn’t magical. (We didn’t even message each other once he had gone.) The only time he seemed alive was while going through my sketchbook. Even the doodles I consider third rate he found enchanting. I have become more organised about art since Feb. Just can’t wait for these exams to be over and get back to real work.

Ok ran my longest today. 7k and 1 hr 03 m.

Yup that’s my max. A 1hr50min run coming up in 5 days 😳. At this rate I will burn out and get injured but I want to keep going till I can. At least my mind is off the other shite.

Half MarathonΒ 

Started running again 😁😁😁

Too soon to say but aiming to run my first Half Marathon in the last week of November.

Have only done 6.8 km max till date. Wonder if I’ll ever be able to make it to 21 km in three months. πŸ™ˆ