The Cousin

Uncle and Aunt had summoned us all for an evening get together to grace the occasion of their son’s visit from the US.

I knew what it was all about. Mom had no clue. Nor dad. I half didn’t want to go – Sunday evenings are very inconvenient when you have an early next day. Also, why should everyone be inconvenienced when one of these expat relatives visit? It’s not the 80s anymore.

But I wanted to be there – to support him if things got ugly and to meet him since he was visiting after ages.

“This is M, S and he married in the US,” Uncle introduced. I was at my awkward best. I don’t do well at first meetings. I’m not a warm welcoming blanket. More like a damp handkerchief, forgotten in the old trousers. I nodded. My smile is always pasted on when I’m uncomfortable.

Mom and I with the kid were the last ones to reach. Everyone else was already there. None showed any sign of discomfort or shock or surprise. “Wow! We have really progressed” I thought. The younger uncle, forever leading conversations was asking him inanities. Mom was the only one who seemed out of her form. If only I could know what was going on in her mind.

Their house was clean for a change. Aunt was wearing proper clothes for a change and not hanging out of them. There were no goat droppings inside the house (yes ! they’re eccentric! But that’s a tale for another day 🤣).

There was the usual tour to the top of their huge house and I escaped with that party while younger Uncle kept on talking to the husband.

This Uncle who had once told me out of the blue that he finds Elton John n George Michael and other gays “disgusting”.

The tour of house done without any mention of the elephant in the evening, the snacks were being served when we returned. The cousin’s mother who like rest of the family knew my “secret” would for ages used to ask me to only tell her why I wouldn’t marry and promised she wouldn’t ask me again.

The other cousin who I had immensely trusted and had come out to first and who in turn had informed rest of the family to “save me from going down the wrong path” was now talking in his usual oily manner to the new couple (They had wed on 2020). ( I never talked to this guy again. My relation with my parents would’ve been totally different had he not done this. Because they felt cornered into feeling ashamed in front of their relatives. I would’ve handled the whole thing properly myself).

The other uncle, he’s only 5 years older than me – he had found my browser history on a mutual relative’s computer – the internet was very very new then. He had later told me with an unfriendly smile “and these are cookies from where gay porn history should usually be removed”. I felt chills to my spine. Fuck ! That was the end of our very very close friendship.

The younger Aunt who had made fun of my ex because he was a bit femme. She was the only person who sat with a disgusted expression throughout the evening. When her husband invited them to dinner for the next day, she did not utter a single word.

I had planned to stay only for 15 minutes. That dragged to 45 and then almost 2 hours. Mom was frozen in such a daze that she did not move. I’m the end we were the last to leave. And I was really angry. Why are you suddenly hovering back. “You had to eat the cakes too ! I have been saying move for past one hour !!! 😤” I shouted once we were back in the car. Nothing else was discussed. It was too late and I was too tired to talk about what had obviously shocked her.

Being the token gay cousin he expected me to be fawning over them. “Why are you not talking and skulking in the corners?” “

Have I ever talked to you ever in your life before?” I had replied with a smile.

No. I’m not interested whether anyone marries a man or a pony. I have had enough in my life. I only want to live 20 more years for the kid’s sake.

But I will speak of it with mother after some time. If the parents love and support their kids, no one dares to say anything to them. They even get invited to dinners by homophobes. In the end, my mom’s son is alone, her social card intact. When I’m 70 and slip in bathroom it wouldn’t have mattered whether the person coming to my help was a man or a woman. Not supporting you homosexual child fucks up your life, your child’s and his/her partners. Do better as parents.